Self-Obsessed: Bethie’s sold me $0.50 toasted almond chocolate

Because I’m self-obsessed, I never know if people can relate to me.


I’ll be sitting at home, mindlessly scrolling through my Twitter feed, with the front-burner thought of, “Wow, I’m desperate. Another devastating weather event is devastatingly devastating, this site is one big political echo chamber(echo! ECHO! E C H O!!!), and I need some chocolate. I’m probably the only person in the entire world thinking this.”

But, in fact, there are probably millions of people with those exact thoughts.

That kind of scares me. . .For one, there isn’t enough chocolate to go around.

Whatever the deep cosmic implications, the fact is that I can only change one thing on that list of grievances. We can’t totally control the weather yet, politics are impossible, but chocolate? Yeah, I can make that happen. Plus, there are, like, tons of health benefits, so why shouldn’t I make it happen?

Problem is, when I’m in that kind of mood, I don’t want to be seen by anybody: I want to stay in my fat pants, log on, and be indulgent. It’s the real reason why I need one of those remote tech jobs.

team fat pants.png

I’m a member. What of it?

But back to the chocolate. My craving was starting to explode from innocent, I’ll-settle-for-a-Hershey’s, to needing the full-on chocolate tingles, which have been scientifically proven to be impossible with Hershey’s.

And then, my friends, I found Bethie’s Backyard. She sells craft chocolate singles called Dog Bites. SINGLES called Dog Bites! For fifty dang nabbin’ cents apiece, featuring creamy chocolate, with a spiky crunch of toasted almond, butter toffee, and sea salt.  That “shut up and take my money” meme applies here, in case you were wondering.

Bethie's Banner00

Dang girl, you rockin’ that gradient. 

Shipping at Bethie’s is a flat $9.99, so I threw in some other stuff in my cart to make it worth my while. . .Like, other chocolate and a freaking good muesli. Bethie also offers another $0.50 chocolate called the Salty Dog Bite, which is DARK chocolate with the same amazeballs almond/toffee/sea salt combo: equally if not more so delicious than the Prairie Dog.

Conclusion: Bethie’s is doing something cool I haven’t seen on other sites (even Amazon), and that is selling high-quality food & treats a la carte. It’s like, Dude, I don’t need the industrial-pack of 500 whatnots, I just want TWO! And maybe a can of tea! She makes that fantasy a reality.

Rock on, Bethie, and thank you for enabling my self obsession.

Selling: Organic & locally procured foodstuffs, local handmades, art/music
Items ordered: BT McElrath’s Chocolate Dog Bites (Prairie Dog & Salty Dog), Bliss Bircher Triple Berry Muesli

Self-obsessed is a new series at RealToughCandy, chronicling websites that make your self-obsession easier.


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